How to reverse?

My life the cul-de-sac

A perpetual dead end

I keep banging into it

Hoping for a change

But it just never stops.

It is relentless

In its deadendness

In its endlessness

Its lifelessness

When I was young,

I imagined my life

As a smooth paved road.

With a stretch of highway for the easy bits

And maybe some occasional hairpin turns,

For the moments when life was dangerous

Some cliff hangers

For when I walked on the edge

All ending in a nice gated community

With gates as white as pearls.

 

But somewhere along the line

I seemed to have fallen off the edge of the world

Because nothing else could explain

The wrong turn I made

Onto this road that abruptly ends

Before I was ready

Before I loved

Before I lived

Before.

 

I shifted my car into park and gave in,

To the frustrations

The yearning and the pining

For more than life’s roads

Have allowed me to navigate.

 

I parked because once

I had someone I wanted to be

I had somewhere to go

I had so many things in this world

Still left for me to see.

 

I parked even though life

Never actually gave up on me.

I parked because my car

Could not manage the pot holes.

 

I turned into a cul-de-sac and parked.

Because I felt I had

Nowhere left to go.

 

 

…then I made myself forget.

 

 

I made myself forget,

 

Just exactly how to reverse.

 

 

 

One Comment Add yours

  1. Casheera Shantora says:

    Reblogged this on Casheera Shantora.

    Like

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